Expecting tomorrow.

It's easy to get into the habit of expecting tomorrow. We wake up, go on with our every day living, and fall asleep planning on tomorrow. But sometimes tomorrow is taken from us, and sometimes we give it up. Life doesn't always give us tomorrow. Morbid, I know, but I swear I have reasons. This week, several people have died.

One of them was a boy who I remember from high school. A year older than me, now he's dead. Supposedly by his choice(a note was found, but the confirmation is still up in the air). Knowing someone around my age will never see tomorrow, will never really live, is just heart breaking. One of them was younger than me by several years, and a chill is sent up my spine thinking about a life being taken so young. I can't fathom how his parents must feel, how big a void must be in their hearts now. A void that will never be truly filled. It's said he, too, took his own life.Something in their lives must have been so horrible that they didn't want to see what tomorrow holds. It's a tragedy to have lost all hope. I thank God I have wonderful family and friends surrounding me so that even on my darkest day, I still see the light of tomorrow. My heart and prayers go out to their friends and family, it's unimaginable how they must feel.

Earlier this week, I was stuck in a traffic jam (think small town where traffic jams rarely exist). Thirty minutes go by, and I'm still in the same spot. So, I call my mom to see if there was wreck or what. Unfortunately, there was. Two people were killed. They didn't want to die. They had plans for tomorrow, maybe they had families who had plans with them for tomorrow, but they'll never see it.

Today, I woke up, cleaned the kitchen, read a book, got on Facebook, napped, sat around, got ready, and went shopping. I didn't think twice about getting in my car and driving to the mall. I didn't consider the possibility I may not get tomorrow. I don't know why some people's lives are taken, and others aren't. Why do good people die young and bad people live to be old? Where's the justice in that? I know everything happens for a reason, and I know God has plans for everything, but it's hard not to wonder sometimes. However, not knowing reasons why means we should live every day like it's our last, as hard as it may be to do so.

Now, I know that some people regard suicide as a horrific sin, which it very well may be, but that does not give you the right to say rude, hateful things. Boys just died. They died. They'll never get another chance. Their families will never get to tell them how much they love them again, or see their faces again. Again, in a small town, everyone gossips and people talk about things they know nothing about. It's ridiculous.