Why is breaking up so hard? I mean logically it should be easy. You have a person come into your life, they leave, you find someone new--simple, right? I wish I was still a logical person. However, falling in love will take everything that is logical, and turn it completely around. Everything becomes silly and unexplainable, but it's all okay because you find comfort in that love. What if that love leaves? Then what? You've lost it.
When you lose that comfort, you not only lose the lover in the present, but in the future. Every plan you made with that person in your future is gone. College together? Gone. Marriage? Nonexistent. Kid? Don't even think about it. You don't just lose the present, you lose the future, too.
So, it's a Friday night and I am waiting on the text. The text that I know will say "Look, I love you, I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow, just let me sleep it off." As my friend continues his song in the coffee shop, my phone vibrates. I read the message with shakey hands. "I'm not scared, and I do love you and care about you which is what makes this so hard. But I can't do this anymore. So fine, we're done."
Just like that.
My face fell to my hands in my lap. Tears began to fall that I didn't know I had. Next thing I know I'm giving the phone to Mal and rushing to the door. She puts her arm around me to walk around out side, but I can't walk.
Then, I heard the cracking of my kneecaps it the concrete as my body goes limp. I hear sobs coming from someone I didn't know. It wasn't like me to do this. I could feel my stomach in my throat, and my heart on the ground. How could he do this? He just threw away a year and a half in a text message. How could someone who cared so deeply for me hurt me like this? My best friend Andrew then came outside and just held me while I cried and sobbed. I shook as I choked out the cries of "what am I going to do?"
And for a moment, I could hardly breathe.
